Leaving

I'm completely reluctant to leave blogger cause I started posting about my life here since I was form 1. I'll keep all the old posts here to embarrass myself in the future. yeah.
Nawww. Those are memories. I won't delete them. 
But it's so inconvenient for me to post stuffs whenever I want to because most of the time I'm with my phone rather than the pc, but blogger works better on pc, the app is trash lol. When I have thoughts to be expressed (especially midnight) it'll be more convenient for me to just grab my phone and type a few words before I go to sleep. Who will still switch on the pc just for a few lines of words? So... those thoughts go unsaid and forgotten. What a waste!

So now I'm moving to the new site .

The only thing which keeps me looking back is the template here. I designed every single detail myself T.T 


Naaa life goes on. I must learn how to give and take, things come and go. This is life.

Farewell, my past.

Food Diary #3

I'm so gonna get a professional camera to capture all the wonderful things that make you drool - especially food.

Sakae Salad @ Sakae Sushi, Palm Mall.

Cheese Almond Snack from Japan.

I realised none of my food diary posts can escape salmon. HAHAHA.

Azuma is the best place for raw salmon in Seremban.

Best Soft Shell Crab salad I've ever had! So in love with the sesame sauce. 

Breakfast Set & Fruit Tea @ Coffeeholic, Seremban. 

THE FRUIT TEA IS REALLY NICE.

-apples strawberries kiwis lemons-

Yoghurt puff from Malacca! 

Grilled Chicken w/ Fries and Brown Sauce @ Underground Societe, Sunway.

Homemade breakfast - toast w/ avocado and half-boiled egg.

NokCha Latte @ BROS Cafe, Seremban.

Some Korean multigrain drink. I rate this 5 star!

Looks like coconut milk uh.

Oreo bingsu.

Hmm. Looking forward to more food, oh my life. Hahaha.

It feels good back home

It's Chinese New Year, I've been anticipating for the holiday to come since school started.

I tried to challenge myself - not to go home for a month. I knew it wouldn't be too hard for me, I'm neither a clingy child nor a person who'll get homesick. But when things don't go according to the plan, it's another story.

I fell sick right on the day before my birthday but my birthday wasn't my concern at all. I know it wouldn't be practical going back for only 2 days, despite the 1 hour travel from Subang to Seremban. I've never expected myself to get homesick, but I got homesick only when I was sick. Lol?

So, finally I'm back here for CNY!

Didn't spend my CNY at home though, we went Cherating - where the beaches are way more breautiful than Port Dickson's. hahaha.

Spot the running dog!

The best part of a vacation is you get to relax to the max and take as many beautiful pictures as you want, since the sceneries are naturally the best backgrounds you could ever get! I took pictures like I had unlimited battery, which in fact is NOT TRUE. My battery died at least twice in a day zzz. Samsung problem.

I woke up very early in the morning hoping that I could catch the sunrise, which I did! That was the first sunrise in my life. It was stunning awh. Sunrises are way more better than sunsets. It gives you  hope, telling you it's a great day ahead in a way.

NOT TO FORGET THE ATV RIDE. It was RM70 per person for an hour ride. My phone battery died I didn't get to capture the best moments of the ride :( The facilitator brought us to the mouth of Sungai Lembing where the river meets the sea. Have you been to somewhere like that before? There wasn't any other people except the riders. The water was so clear and the rays from the sun wasn't scary for me during that time, the view took my breath away who cares about the sun! It feels so good to be there, it's like you're on an deserted undiscovered island without the distractions of all the hustles from the city life. I could never forget how the view made me feel.

Oh yea. I was so brave to wear a crop top hahaha I do not have a flat tummy I do not! BUT BLAH. DAHELL CARES.

Confidence is the prettiest.

Spent a day with my fellow XJs and I've never regretted joining XJ, knowing this bunch of friends whom I'm completely comfortable with. No dramas, no judgements. With them, I can just be who I am.

Lost so much to Edwin during the gambles though :/ EDWIN WHY YOU SO HENG AAA WORE RED UNDIES IS ITTTTT.


Time is ticking CNY's gonna be over soon. When the moment comes I still gotta get back to Sunway :( Instead of seeing it as a bad thing why not switch my perspective and embrace my remaining time there? There's only 9 months left. :/

Sunway is beautiful too :)

VV.

020215

Nothing much. Nothing interesting. I just feel like writing something today.

I've been using this excuse too much lately - no time. Is that really so? Time management has always been my weakness since high school, I do not know how to prioritize chores and things to be done in a limit of time. Just like NOW. I'll be having Chemistry test on Thursday and here I am, blogging, instead of doing what I should do. I haven't started revising fyi. Always. ALWAYS. #kailingpattern

Sometimes Belinda asked us out for gatherings or even just for a simple meal, the sudden click came and trying to turn on all the emergency buttons in me reminding me of all the undone tasks WHICH ARE ALREADY CHASING AND BURNING MY BUTT so I gotta get them done asap. Oh shiz. All these thoughts always strike at wrong times. I feel so guilty for not going out with them, but if I do I'll be so guilty I did. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME LA. 


Joined the Alstar Leadership Camp for new intake as a helper and I met this gang of Jan 15 intake juniors whom I really like, especially the two Puchong's. A few days back Wai Hong WhatsApped me I thought wow the camp has such huge impact on you and me, the value of our friendship... :')
BUT, he promoted his movie night event to me instead.

".............................................................."


Yeah, that's how I felt.

My bak kut teh... Puchong... why... I thought we were friends... T.T


I think my level of patience = 99999999.

Sometimes at night, in the midnight specifically, my housemates make so much noise in the common area laughing and chatting when I'm trying my best to sleep. I get kinda annoyed but I think I was quite zen, no matter how noisy they get I can still hold in my temper hahahaha I salute myself for this. AHHAHAHAHAHA.
If you make me lose my temper, I salute you.
Yesterday night 0605 course mates invited me over to test out their food and I didn't know I gotta stay there for the whole night for some games and stuff. I didn't mind actually but imo they should let us know and the coordinator is so kiasu I don't like her zzz. She took things too seriously I kenot. I REALLY KENOT.
But overall, I had fun and got closer to those coursemates I wasn't that close with. Thank you lah ;)


Okay enough of procrastination. Kbai I go study Chemistry :p


VV.

200115

It's a day filled with thoughts and feelings.

Had a normal morning going to classes as usual, then visited Taylor's Lakeside Campus after lunch with Huang.
There starts my thoughtful day.
I start to believe that the choice I made is right. Sunway and A-Level is the one that suits me best, I shall say. Yes, the camps is awful with all the facilities and convenience students get to enjoy, especially their library which is my favouritest out of my favourites. The amount of books they have is definitely more than what Sunway has, the study table are so convenient for group studying, although they're a little bit to small for me.
But here comes my point - Sunway has all I need, isn't that sufficient? What else do I expect? They have big study tables for me, great accommodation for my maximum comfort, they even have gigantic refrigerator which I have to pay in exchange with food (Pyramid I mean). All these are already beyond what I really need, and I'm very grateful for that. In my opinion, I'm more comfortable with where I am now, compared to Taylor's. I'm just generally stating my opinion on this matter, there's no need to have comparison between both campuses (of course in terms of physical appearance they will definitely win). Taylor students and Sunway students, just stop the arguments.
But no doubt, I really like their library though.

Yoga class was replaced today because Ms Angel couldn't make it for class this Thursday. She taught us so much today, more on spiritual lessons and mind activations talks. Imagine how wonderful she is to be such an inspirational yoga instructor, unlike so many commercial instructors out there.

Any interactions between you and me are not just interactions, there is energy exchange between both the persons.

Something miraculous happened. People may not know how much one little act can make me feel so treasured as a friend.
AS examinations is just around the corner, the mock examination is just around 2 months from now. I had to register and pay the examinable fees to the financial department after settling the registration form. I didn't realise that I still couldn't withdraw more than a particular limit per day from the atm machine so the maximum amount I am able to withdraw wasn't enough for me to settle the fees.
But when I voiced out my problem two of my friends actually offered me help, which I'm so grateful for because I didn't asked for it. I'm happy that I actually worth them to be eager to assist. I can simply do everything on the next day but they're so kind to offer me help instead.
Perhaps it's my own point of view, borrowing money is something to be really careful of. Not everyone deserves the trust you lay on them.
So, thank both of you. I thank both of you for your trust and heart. You two made my day.

VV.

 

 

I'm so tired.

There will be a time when the amount of worry and stress I need to handle is merely beyond how much I'm capable of. I start to think about life, think about whether I should give in more or to give up. I've just got my Chemistry semester exam paper back and I scored a fine 68. Yes the number looks fine. The grade looks fine. What you wouldn't know is my actual ability, which I'm clear of. Handling four heavy subjects isn't easy at all. Especially when Chemistry isn't the field I'm good in. To drop not to drop, that's a very serious question. I'm not trying to compare with others but when I came across to know that they're actually coursemates or even classmates who are able to score a well 90 plus, I start to doubt my own ability. I tend to be disappointed with myself for not being dedicated enough to achieve what I'm supposed to. In addition, I'm not sure what's the reason but I less prefer my classmates in comparison to my housemates. I just feel the need to isolate myself from them to feel more free, to be more kailing. Those classmates I mentioned doesn't include ong, he's the only one whom I can still be myself with. I just feel so tired talking and socialising with the rest of them, it's like I've put in so much effort to try to warm all of us up all I wish was we could be closer and be very good friends but I feel that no one anticipates or even appreciate my existence. I'm so done with it. For now, all I could give is just fake smiles. Perhaps we do not click, we do not have the same elements that enable us to bond together, and the time has come, for me to realise; for me to accept the truth, it's faith. I've expected so much from my college life but all turned out to be bits and bits of disappointments. If and only if I'm fortunate enough to meet the right ones, not only two or three little fellows, I really wouldn't mind my dull and stressful academic life. At least there still is something I look forward to every day when I go for classes. What has A-level done to me? I do not know. Could you understand how puzzled I am, facing the cold reality with red marks all over the paper, stacks of books on the table but yet, what I can do is just stare at them, having deep thoughts, without knowing where should I start with. I always knew I had to do something, but all I could do is just sigh, sigh and sigh.
Anyone who's fated might be reading this. I need your guidance, I'm in a serious situation now. I've never doubted myself so much. I've been the chilled one in my community but no, not anymore, I don't know! I'm so uncertain of everything now. I'm just so drained.

VV.

Back to College

It's the last day for me to have time to linger around and waste time as far as I could.
I can't really do that anyway I'm already in my hostel, a place where I have nothing to do except studying and spending time on computer.

I was back here since yesterday afternoon. Spent my whole day spring cleaning my room and unpacking all my stuff I brought from Seremban. All the stuff could fill a super huge luggage and what's worse is, besides that I still have a big bag of clothes. Anyone who doesn't know might think I'm moving or something lol.

Intended to sleep early yesterday night but housemates had a late night talk and I ended up sleeping at 2am again. So I ended up waking up with discomfort in my nose lol. Just had my breakfast then I'm here now without knowing what to do. I know I should study and get my engine started again but I just couldn't start lol I guess I need a few days to warm myself up.

There are just shit loads of things I've to achieve in this semester. I really hope my mind can stop floating away randomly cause I needa concentrate! I just need to concentrate in everything I do now. There is no more time left for me to waste.

I wish I had more time to do things I like, I wish I had more time to spend with my family, I wish I had more time to sleep. It's not that I don't have time to sleep. I really wanna sleep more but my biological alarm wakes me up earlier than I expected. Maybe that's a phase of growing up, where I can't sleep as long as how I did when I was younger. That's frustrating. :/


New year resolutions - I will always remember what my parents told me, I will always be clear of what I really need to achieve. I will try my best to make you proud of me. I promise. 


Let's get started.

Credits - Jean

VV.