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It's a day filled with thoughts and feelings.

Had a normal morning going to classes as usual, then visited Taylor's Lakeside Campus after lunch with Huang.
There starts my thoughtful day.
I start to believe that the choice I made is right. Sunway and A-Level is the one that suits me best, I shall say. Yes, the camps is awful with all the facilities and convenience students get to enjoy, especially their library which is my favouritest out of my favourites. The amount of books they have is definitely more than what Sunway has, the study table are so convenient for group studying, although they're a little bit to small for me.
But here comes my point - Sunway has all I need, isn't that sufficient? What else do I expect? They have big study tables for me, great accommodation for my maximum comfort, they even have gigantic refrigerator which I have to pay in exchange with food (Pyramid I mean). All these are already beyond what I really need, and I'm very grateful for that. In my opinion, I'm more comfortable with where I am now, compared to Taylor's. I'm just generally stating my opinion on this matter, there's no need to have comparison between both campuses (of course in terms of physical appearance they will definitely win). Taylor students and Sunway students, just stop the arguments.
But no doubt, I really like their library though.

Yoga class was replaced today because Ms Angel couldn't make it for class this Thursday. She taught us so much today, more on spiritual lessons and mind activations talks. Imagine how wonderful she is to be such an inspirational yoga instructor, unlike so many commercial instructors out there.

Any interactions between you and me are not just interactions, there is energy exchange between both the persons.

Something miraculous happened. People may not know how much one little act can make me feel so treasured as a friend.
AS examinations is just around the corner, the mock examination is just around 2 months from now. I had to register and pay the examinable fees to the financial department after settling the registration form. I didn't realise that I still couldn't withdraw more than a particular limit per day from the atm machine so the maximum amount I am able to withdraw wasn't enough for me to settle the fees.
But when I voiced out my problem two of my friends actually offered me help, which I'm so grateful for because I didn't asked for it. I'm happy that I actually worth them to be eager to assist. I can simply do everything on the next day but they're so kind to offer me help instead.
Perhaps it's my own point of view, borrowing money is something to be really careful of. Not everyone deserves the trust you lay on them.
So, thank both of you. I thank both of you for your trust and heart. You two made my day.

VV.

 

 

I'm so tired.

There will be a time when the amount of worry and stress I need to handle is merely beyond how much I'm capable of. I start to think about life, think about whether I should give in more or to give up. I've just got my Chemistry semester exam paper back and I scored a fine 68. Yes the number looks fine. The grade looks fine. What you wouldn't know is my actual ability, which I'm clear of. Handling four heavy subjects isn't easy at all. Especially when Chemistry isn't the field I'm good in. To drop not to drop, that's a very serious question. I'm not trying to compare with others but when I came across to know that they're actually coursemates or even classmates who are able to score a well 90 plus, I start to doubt my own ability. I tend to be disappointed with myself for not being dedicated enough to achieve what I'm supposed to. In addition, I'm not sure what's the reason but I less prefer my classmates in comparison to my housemates. I just feel the need to isolate myself from them to feel more free, to be more kailing. Those classmates I mentioned doesn't include ong, he's the only one whom I can still be myself with. I just feel so tired talking and socialising with the rest of them, it's like I've put in so much effort to try to warm all of us up all I wish was we could be closer and be very good friends but I feel that no one anticipates or even appreciate my existence. I'm so done with it. For now, all I could give is just fake smiles. Perhaps we do not click, we do not have the same elements that enable us to bond together, and the time has come, for me to realise; for me to accept the truth, it's faith. I've expected so much from my college life but all turned out to be bits and bits of disappointments. If and only if I'm fortunate enough to meet the right ones, not only two or three little fellows, I really wouldn't mind my dull and stressful academic life. At least there still is something I look forward to every day when I go for classes. What has A-level done to me? I do not know. Could you understand how puzzled I am, facing the cold reality with red marks all over the paper, stacks of books on the table but yet, what I can do is just stare at them, having deep thoughts, without knowing where should I start with. I always knew I had to do something, but all I could do is just sigh, sigh and sigh.
Anyone who's fated might be reading this. I need your guidance, I'm in a serious situation now. I've never doubted myself so much. I've been the chilled one in my community but no, not anymore, I don't know! I'm so uncertain of everything now. I'm just so drained.

VV.

Back to College

It's the last day for me to have time to linger around and waste time as far as I could.
I can't really do that anyway I'm already in my hostel, a place where I have nothing to do except studying and spending time on computer.

I was back here since yesterday afternoon. Spent my whole day spring cleaning my room and unpacking all my stuff I brought from Seremban. All the stuff could fill a super huge luggage and what's worse is, besides that I still have a big bag of clothes. Anyone who doesn't know might think I'm moving or something lol.

Intended to sleep early yesterday night but housemates had a late night talk and I ended up sleeping at 2am again. So I ended up waking up with discomfort in my nose lol. Just had my breakfast then I'm here now without knowing what to do. I know I should study and get my engine started again but I just couldn't start lol I guess I need a few days to warm myself up.

There are just shit loads of things I've to achieve in this semester. I really hope my mind can stop floating away randomly cause I needa concentrate! I just need to concentrate in everything I do now. There is no more time left for me to waste.

I wish I had more time to do things I like, I wish I had more time to spend with my family, I wish I had more time to sleep. It's not that I don't have time to sleep. I really wanna sleep more but my biological alarm wakes me up earlier than I expected. Maybe that's a phase of growing up, where I can't sleep as long as how I did when I was younger. That's frustrating. :/


New year resolutions - I will always remember what my parents told me, I will always be clear of what I really need to achieve. I will try my best to make you proud of me. I promise. 


Let's get started.

Credits - Jean

VV.